081309b

Writing is therapeutic to me.

We are watching A Bug's Life, for the second time in a row. My nephew loves the film. I like it too.(Just not watching it twice in a row)It's getting late. I wonder if he will make it through half, before falling asleep?

I have been communicating via email, more than I have in a long time. It has improved vastly. I remember the old days, when it wouldn't be surprising for a message to take twenty minutes to reach Europe.(At least it seemed like twenty minutes) Nowadays if it takes more than a minute, I most likely sent it to the wrong address. Progress is nice.

Often I wish I could get some snail mail from someone other than collection agencies, and bill collectors. There is just something about holding something in your hand, and seeing actual handwriting.

I am debating just getting drunk. I have a half bottle. When drinking I don't feel the full dose of loneliness. I enjoy the numbness. I can't decide if I should save it though. I might need it more tomorrow. There's no money to be running to the liquor store. Payday is Monday. I am wearing all my money on my face.(New glasses)

Missing someone sucks ass. I wish I could talk to whoever I wanted to whenever I wanted to. Distance is like a stinking pile of dog poop. Absence doesn't really make the heart grow fonder. It tortures it.

That's all I can think of to ramble on about right now. I decided to drink the whiskey.

I want a dandelion.

081309

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sh5nS8VQchE&feature=related

Wanting to like someone, and actually liking them are different things. I want to like everyone. Do I get credit with the universe for trying?

Speaking of the universe: Are my efforts to build good karma, actually doing any good? I wonder about that everyday. Some days I am very depressed. It's been a while since I seriously thought about killing myself though.(Always remember that no matter how strong your rope is, if what it's attached to is weak, then it's no use.) I am hopeful because of a few physic messages I have received from a few different sources.(Is that silly?) I am hopeful because I like hope.

Things at work are improving. I tried to play their game. My heart wasn't in it. I think things are only getting better because some have noticed that I am in fact not going anywhere. It could be they are suffering from fatigue from their efforts to get me to quit. I find that very funny.

I can now see again, thanks to getting my glasses. I am glad. However some expressions on people's faces, I wish were still a blur to me. People find me odd. I make some people uncomfortable. I know this...

I wish I could blink my eyes, and travel to wherever I wanted to go. I wish a dark haired girl were giving me head right now. I wish I could win the powerball. I wish so many things.

I want a dandelion.

05222009

It's my first post. Don't everyone get all excited at once. What will I write about, this grainy, rainy day? When in doubt write about the subject of writing, is what I always say.

A grandmother who billed herself as the "world's oldest internet blogger"(Maybe that's my problem. I should bill myself.) has kicked the bucket at the age of ninety-seven. The Spanish lady, only discovered the web a few years ago. It's proof the internet bestows no physical immortality.

I wonder if bloggers blog beyond the pearly gates. Can you imagine what they would write about? Maybe they would write stuff like this: "Today the clouds were extra fluffy, and Jesus won his two thousandth game of four-dimensional checkers." It's as likely as anything else.